09 September 2025•5 min read
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Friendships are a cornerstone of childhood development. For primary school children, learning to form and maintain friendships isn’t just about having fun—it’s about developing crucial life skills that will serve them well into adulthood. As parents, we can play a vital role in helping our children navigate the sometimes tricky waters of social relationships.
Why Friendships Matter
Research consistently shows that children with healthy friendships tend to have:
- Better academic performance
- Stronger emotional resilience
- Higher self-esteem
- Lower rates of anxiety and depression
- Better conflict resolution skills
Have you ever watched your child struggle to join a group at the playground? I have… and it broke my heart as parent. Not every child finds it easy to make friends, and that’s perfectly normal. Some children are naturally outgoing, while others are more reserved. Some may face additional challenges due to shyness, anxiety, or being neurodiverse like children with ADHD or autism.
Signs Your Child Might Need Support
Keep an eye out for these indicators that your child might be struggling socially:
- Regularly complaining about having no one to play with
- Avoiding school or social gatherings
- Frequently playing alone when other children are in groups
- Expressing negative feelings about themselves in relation to peers
- Being excluded from birthday parties or playdates
Helping Your Child Make Friends
Build Foundational Social Skills
Children need certain basic skills to form friendships successfully:
- Emotional regulation:Help your child identify and manage strong emotions. “I can see you’re feeling frustrated. Let’s take some deep breaths together before we try again.”
- Empathy: Encourage perspective-taking with questions like, “How do you think Lachlan felt when that happened?” or “What might make Emma feel better?”
- Conversation skills: Practise simple exchanges at home, such as asking questions, taking turns in conversation, and showing interest in others’ responses.
Create Opportunities for Connection
Children need chances to meet potential friends in comfortable settings:
- Structured activities: Enrol your child in activities aligned with their interests, whether that’s sport, art, music, or coding clubs.
- Playdates: For younger children, arrange one-on-one playdates in your home where you can provide subtle guidance if needed.
- Community involvement: Local libraries, community centres, and neighbourhood events offer natural settings for children to interact.
Prepare for Social Success
- Role-play: Practise introductions, joining a game, or handling disagreements through pretend play at home.
- Social scripts:For children who struggle with spontaneous interaction, having a few prepared conversation starters can be helpful: “I like your backpack. What’s your favourite subject?”
- Pre-teaching: Before social events, briefly discuss expectations and strategies: “Remember to take turns choosing games, just like we practise at home.”
Your Friendship-Building Toolkit
Here are a few resources that can help you teach these skills in a fun, engaging way:
- “How to Make and Keep Friends: Tips for Kids to Overcome Shyness, Stop Bullying, and Be a True Friend”: A fantastic guide for kids that breaks down social skills in an easy-to-understand way.
- Social Skills Games: These games make learning about emotions, empathy, and conversation skills fun and interactive.
- Cooperative Board Games: Games where players work together to win are a great way to practice teamwork, sharing, and communication.
Teaching Your Child to Be a Good Friend
Being able to make friends is only half the equation—maintaining friendships requires being a good friend in return.
Core Friendship Skills
Help your child develop these essential qualities:
- Sharing and taking turns: Use board games and family activities to practise these skills in a supportive environment.
- Listening: Demonstrate good listening by giving your child your full attention, and point out when they’re doing the same with others.
- Trustworthiness: Discuss the importance of keeping promises and maintaining confidences.
- Kindness: Acknowledge when you notice your child being kind, and talk about how kindness makes others feel.
Handling Friendship Challenges
All friendships face bumps in the road. Help your child navigate these by:
- Teaching conflict resolution:“When you disagree, try using ‘I feel’ statements instead of blaming.”
- Practising apologies:A sincere “I’m sorry” followed by “Next time, I’ll…” helps repair relationships.
- Setting boundaries:It’s okay to say no sometimes. Help your child understand the difference between being kind and being taken advantage of.
The Parent’s Role
As parents, we walk a fine line between supporting and interfering:
- Model healthy relationships:Your own friendships teach by example.
- Coach, don’t control:Offer guidance before playdates (“Remember how much Zoe likes drawing”) but allow children to navigate their own relationships.
- Debrief without judgment:“How did your playdate go? What was the best part?” rather than “Why didn’t you let Jamie have a turn?”
When More Support Is Needed
Sometimes, children benefit from additional help:
- Consult teachers: They observe your child in social settings daily and may offer valuable insights.
- Consider social skills groups: Many schools and community centres offer structured programs to build social competence.
- Seek professional guidance: If social struggles are causing significant distress, psychologists specialising in child development can provide targeted strategies.
Remember
Every child’s social journey is unique. Some children thrive with just one or two close friends, while others enjoy larger groups. The goal isn’t popularity—it’s helping your child develop meaningful connections and the skills to be a good friend.
By providing gentle guidance, creating opportunities, and teaching core friendship skills, you’re giving your child tools they’ll use throughout their lives—in the schoolyard today and in their communities and workplaces tomorrow.
Love,
Chelle 💗
Special Education Complex Supports and Family Support Specialist
This article is part of our series on supporting children’s social development. Watch for upcoming posts on handling friendship conflicts and supporting children with specific social challenges.